Wednesday, May 10, 2006
whEE!! i am back from bugis!! or shld i say i came back from norin's work place.. accompanied her there.. to see how it was like..haha.. todae arh.. had two hours of lesson only.. good right?? haha.. my bio science teacher was down with flu i think.. heh.. aniwae he is kinda old thou.. hehe.. so den we had extra two hours break.. so in all i had five hours of break today!! haha.. heh!! todae got ivan loh's lesson!! haha.. he went thru e lecture so so fast.. like toot toot train.. sayin this not impt that not impt so skip.. den still got this can read on ya own.. that can read on ya own.. i was like.. ok lor.. sigh.. poly life really too much freedom till i myself got scare and stress w/o anyone reminding me.. haha...
ICA week is coming and we are planning alot of stuff.. skit la.. so on and so forth.. was thinkin, wad if i fail how.. sigh.. totally foreign to wadeva i am doing now.. somemore i was voted to be the sub group leader.. dots... so blur still be leader can die leh.. haha..
life is so mundane... so sianz.. go sch and den go home.. go lect and tut den break and all.. haha.. nothing much de.. sigh.. my spiritual life is worse!! its totally dead!! dun even feel like going church.. dun feel like going for camps.. but somehow i have to cling onto him or not i will get even lost... haha.. actually i have been followin the crowd since i was sec 2.. and i always feel i so lost.. but i didnt decide to take a break cuz i might lose them during it.. and i am also afraid that i might no longer come back to such life.. cuz my peers around me are no longer those catholic frens le.. those close frens of mine, we have been driftin apart.. no one to lead me.. to guide me.. to follow me thru those thick and thin.. cuz they themselves have their own prob.. own world alr..
like regi, busy with her sch and busy with her frens.. pek and mich, so busy with their work and stuff.. jerry nick and juls, busy in school. no longer as close as b4.. mel netto, busy with work and studies.. me myself and i.. busy with school.. and busy living in my own world.. haha.. crazy huh.. i just have to get used to it bah.. just have to learn how to carry on with my entire life alone.. learning how to find my way myself.. learning how to find god myself.. learning how to study myself.. learn how to manage myself.. haha.. learn how to be independent.. haha..
life life... all about life.. LONELY.. I'M MISS LONELY.. I HAVE NOBODY.. FOR MY OWN.. haha... so crap.. haha.. lalalalalala.. da ti doo.. (singing!!)
so sick and tired of life.. but last nite i dreamt that i got some illness and was about to die.. den i regreted so much.. i felt scare.. i didnt wan to die.. i wan to live.. i have so many things undone.. i was so afraid wad if i ended up in hell.. i was wondering wad will happen with my frens and family.. will they be sad.. so when time passes.. things will fade.. wound will just heal.. everything will go back to the same mundane life we have... haha.. guess i'm just thinkin too much bah!! but still.. sigh~..
after a certain prob i heard from my fren.. i felt like i think like a BIMBO.. think so greatly about myself and stuff like that.. thinkin the prob with my fren was about me.. but actually it wasnt.. i fell so stupid.. so ashame about it.. and i am here.. tellin u about it.. how crazy and retard can i be.. (answer myself..)-> VERY.. haha.. k la.. shall end here.. hehe..
all the dudes and babes out there.. have u wonder.. wad are u living for?? wad is ya purpose of life?? wad is the reason that u are living?? wad can u actaully do to help everyone around you?? if u were non existence in this world.. will things still be the same?? let me know about it.. ok?! haha...
7:13 PM