Tuesday, June 30, 2009
belonging
i am alrite... i feel alrite...but sometimes i just yearn for the love i deserve and the hugs and kisses...
something i that i wan to feel belong to... someone i know will love me when i love him...
at the mean time i shall enjoy my singlehood...
some guys shld really have 3 ghosts in their life... (:
11:18 PM
Saturday, June 27, 2009
better in time
i think its better this way...WE think...
we can actually talk and converse better as friends.. amazingly...
i didnt regret.. as u said we tried...
i wish u all the best.. finding the right one at the right time...
i wish myself all the best too~
it finally offically ended...
even thou i hope for the better...
maybe this ending is for the better! (:
we will move on with our busy life... focusing on journeying thru our next phase of life!
jia you!
one day...
one day we will really find the one...
is there really the one...
or we make make that one our 'the one'
hahaha! oh wells...
lets see what had God install for us!
u all no need to worry...
i will be fine... (:
It'll all get better in time
I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to
It'll all get better in time
(: <3
1:25 AM
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Rebel; Results; Hope; You
had a ok shift today...went Rebel next...
for a drink and a night of fun...
apparently, wad i've told regina b4.. 'u cant really have fun till you solve your problems!'
i dance and drank and laugh.. many photos taken...
AMAZING!
all the smile and laughter... it wasnt something deep down...
my best bud could see... could just see that i was bored...
u wanted to talk thru the phone... i was ok... but we didnt manage to talk tonight.
but i rather meet up and talk face to face...
i assume everything burst and ended... but apparently not... oh wells...
do not know wads the ultimate results/ ending..
i am gonna just take it well, take it with a smile and move on with life...
things will be different... but it is something we learn after each mistake.
i did try my best.. put in very single effort i think shld have put in...
if things are meant to be it will be...
i hope for the best thou...
and wads for the best? tts the question. nobody knows... only God knows...
life aint easy... but somehow... God will guide us thru all the waves that comes our way...
and here am i talking abt God when things goes wrong and i start putting my faith and hope on Him... haha!
God will forever be a part of us... esp we christians... tts my opinion...
anyway, i pass my IV test! so SWEETIE when are u going to treat me to a meal? (:
u gonna be away for these few days in malaysia! take care yea?
think by the time you read this u are alr back from all the fun...
its been a long time since we meet up and just talk rubbish tgt...
everyone is jus too busy...
ESP ME! with all the shift work...
oh wells... a few days of nothing to do or no one to disturb.. =p
take care!
a phrase u gave me -> 'In my weakness He is my strength, in my lack He is my supply, in my sickness He is my health!'
a passage.. which i think is nice.
I ask You to minister to their spirit.
Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy.
Where there is self doubting, release a renewed confidence to work through them...
Where there is tiredness or exhaustion, I ask You to give them understanding, guidance, and strength.
Where there isfear, reveal Your love and release to them Your courage.
(:
4:36 AM
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
burst; ended
yes yes.. i am back to this blogskin...cuz the other one gave me problem...
the bubble burst...
the fairytale ended...
my optimism failed me...
12:19 AM
Monday, June 22, 2009
a wiser tot~!
random random...i duno why i had such a tot while watching drama series...
i duno why but even we dont meet up often.. we dont contact often...
i have that great amt of trust deep within in sessman and everything...
is like...
we both are actually tgt hand in hand working towards our goals in future, focusing on impt things in life...
you are busy with your work and family.. busy catching up with your sleep so u are able to wake up and have enough energy to work!
me... busy working... learning... and catching up with my friends!
on the surface it might seem why our relationship seems weird weird...
but deep down i actually had that amt of trust.. which amazed me...
tts why i sent you tt sms randomly telling you how i think! hahaha...
oh wells! ;)
3:33 AM
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
loving someone is hard but trying not to love the one you are already loving is harder.BAH!!! I CANT BELIEVE THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY REACTIONS AT ALL!!!! OMG~!
fuming mad... yet i knew your reaction will be something along that.. yet i always wish otherwise...
the power in love is the one who care less...
i agree... totally...
den why do u use the word love when u CARE lesser?
contradicting...
CHEERS ppl!
smile smile smile... and one day we will really smile from our bottom of our hearts~
10:44 PM
Saturday, June 13, 2009
overlook
life is way much better when just overlook at those trival matters in life...or even any matter that will make us sad...
life will be better...
i learn how to do that. (:
but its up to us to decide what is trival wad is not. HA!
i am pretty contented with life... cuz i made it to be...
or else... hahahaha!
regi... u do the stupidiest things in life...
have u tot of the consequences?
i mean i know i do not have the rights to scold you...
but now things are all alright in your life.. dun make a wave out of nothing alright! (: dun wanna see you cry like how u cried @ the chalet.. it hurts..
hurts so much that i can feel it...
i will be fine... i keep on telling myself. so must you! JIA YOU!
life/ work can be stress... but dont start on something u cant really stop...
i fell for it... and regreted at times... so dun u ever do that!
1:29 AM
Monday, June 08, 2009
small world with a mundane life routine
life been a routine for me now...work eat slack sleep the cycle goes on...
never felt so lost...
not that i do not know wad i am doing.. but everything seems so unfulfilling...
i guess... the clean piece of paper someone was mentioning its kinda dirtied alr...
and the start of wad had written on ruin the looks of it.. and it has to take extra effort in beautifying again
aint easy...
everyone seems to have their own problems... be it family matters. relationships or work...
if i would to whine abt the same things over and over again i might get killed or left alone... literally alone...
went to play lan yest night.. was fun... bumped into zezhong...
really small world huh...
got to know milton was actually very close to angeline! hahaha! amazing...
small small world... everyone is link somehow or other...
if i wasnt frens with regina i might not know aaron... and not knowing aaron means i wont know jason and yao qing...
if i didnt get into sjc... i wouldnt know michelle and wont get into zj i wont get to know pek and zj ppl.. i wont get to know jerry and nick and matt and mel and juls and ryan and daryl and many more
really... i guess 'everything happens for a purpose'
come to think of it.. everything links la... and i need to get my licence FAST!
i want to drive...
drive safely... haha... u know la.. alison crazy one... can anyhow speed without knowing ones limits and skills... hurhur... have to get that into my head!
i mean ppl speed knowing how to handle if something suddenly happen... i dun think i can handle.. so i shall be a 'law abiding citizen' person! hurhur...
we shall see abt it...
but 1st i need to get my licence...
talk so much also no use!
2:37 PM
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
ocean, waves and currents
ok..i screwed things up again...when will i ever grow up? at least grow up at the particular area..
hello... it didnt jus happen once.. but twice.
ok... life is so screwed up i sometimes think that maybe my parents might start to regret telling God maybe without alison around i can live happily without worries and stress
i am causing them so much trouble and pain.
yes, i know some of u might think... den why am i still doing the things i did?
my ans is i do not have an answer to that question...
i need to have more self control...
i need to put tots into action...
fuck.. i screwed it so badly...
yes yes... small matter... but wad if things escalates?
i wish i can rewrite my history... and tts to rewrite the moment i broke my leg!
things will be way diff...
maybe for the better maybe for the worst.
i cant take anymore waves.. my life is like an ocean... on the surface.. all calm and still... yet beneath all the calmness... comes all the horrible currents u never expected it to be...
grrrrr....
i wish...
i wish so hard i could just disappear.. wont cause hurt to anyone i hurt b4.. my sec sch mates, my closest frens and most imptly my family...
2:46 AM